Why do we see things so differently? Men and women, I mean. I see conflict in most relationships that suggest not only what we already knew, that is, that men are completely clueless about women but also that women are completely clueless about men. The latter astounds me because men are extremely easy to understand.
That is the root of the problem. You see women are very complex in their emotional needs, in their thought process, and in the ways they make decisions. Somehow they imagine that we are the same way. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is simplicity versus complexity and whenever these two formidable forces encounter one another chaos ensues.
Men are motivated chiefly by three things. The first thing is the anatomical difference between men and women, the second is how we think about the anatomical differences between men and women, and the third is that we are easily fascinated by things related to those anatomical differences. Further, if it has nothing to do with these things men simply see no use for it.
I bring this up because once again, the difference in the way me and my wife perceive things has cropped up. You see my sons best friend was getting married this weekend. His parents are my wife and my best couple friends. My son is the best man at the wedding. I do not want to go, because I hate going to weddings because I have more important things that I have to do that will end up being neglected in my absence. Who for example this evening will sit in my easy chair and surf the internet. Women lack priorities.
Weddings are not evil but they are boring. They could be made better if the bride would simply agree to three minor changes. First, the groom would be required to dribble a ball down the aisle and then post up the minister, of course this might mean that Dirk Nowitski could never get married. Second, the bridesmaid could body check the Maid of Honor and assume her role by snatching the bouquet from her. And third, the ceremony would be presided over by the winner of a wrestling match between say a Presbyterian minister and a Hare Krishna.
I argued with my wife about going suggesting that instead we could attend a cultural event like the International Calf Fry Championships in Throckmorton, now that is an event for the whole family. It was then that she started speaking in what can only be described as female talk. She made mention of the emotional importance of seeing these young people make a commitment to each other, an event that would effect the direction of the rest of their lives and then she went on to make other crazy comments, like how beautiful the wedding would be and how I should want to see all the flowers and other wedding accoutrement.
We talked a long time about this, and each time I was reluctant to attend, mostly because I imagine the wedding will be horrible, sitting in one place, while some guy makes long-winded comments about how wonderful an event it is and someone will play the same boring music on an organ. Just once, couldnt we have something different, like Bon Jovi or Alice Cooper. People would be much more entertained by Alice singing No More Mr. Nice Guy, or Jon Bon Jovis You Give Love a Bad Name.
But in the end I gave in and agreed to go, mostly because she threatened me, but she also mentioned free cheese doodles and an open bar.
That is the root of the problem. You see women are very complex in their emotional needs, in their thought process, and in the ways they make decisions. Somehow they imagine that we are the same way. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is simplicity versus complexity and whenever these two formidable forces encounter one another chaos ensues.
Men are motivated chiefly by three things. The first thing is the anatomical difference between men and women, the second is how we think about the anatomical differences between men and women, and the third is that we are easily fascinated by things related to those anatomical differences. Further, if it has nothing to do with these things men simply see no use for it.
I bring this up because once again, the difference in the way me and my wife perceive things has cropped up. You see my sons best friend was getting married this weekend. His parents are my wife and my best couple friends. My son is the best man at the wedding. I do not want to go, because I hate going to weddings because I have more important things that I have to do that will end up being neglected in my absence. Who for example this evening will sit in my easy chair and surf the internet. Women lack priorities.
Weddings are not evil but they are boring. They could be made better if the bride would simply agree to three minor changes. First, the groom would be required to dribble a ball down the aisle and then post up the minister, of course this might mean that Dirk Nowitski could never get married. Second, the bridesmaid could body check the Maid of Honor and assume her role by snatching the bouquet from her. And third, the ceremony would be presided over by the winner of a wrestling match between say a Presbyterian minister and a Hare Krishna.
I argued with my wife about going suggesting that instead we could attend a cultural event like the International Calf Fry Championships in Throckmorton, now that is an event for the whole family. It was then that she started speaking in what can only be described as female talk. She made mention of the emotional importance of seeing these young people make a commitment to each other, an event that would effect the direction of the rest of their lives and then she went on to make other crazy comments, like how beautiful the wedding would be and how I should want to see all the flowers and other wedding accoutrement.
We talked a long time about this, and each time I was reluctant to attend, mostly because I imagine the wedding will be horrible, sitting in one place, while some guy makes long-winded comments about how wonderful an event it is and someone will play the same boring music on an organ. Just once, couldnt we have something different, like Bon Jovi or Alice Cooper. People would be much more entertained by Alice singing No More Mr. Nice Guy, or Jon Bon Jovis You Give Love a Bad Name.
But in the end I gave in and agreed to go, mostly because she threatened me, but she also mentioned free cheese doodles and an open bar.
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Chaos, confusion, disorder, and panic. My work here is done. Always remember the moose knows best.
Chaos, confusion, disorder, and panic. My work here is done. Always remember the moose knows best.
