Techsan's Archives

OT: My weekend

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 08:58:38 GMT

I heard a joke once about how if you had a house in Texas and one in Hell, you should rent out the one in Texas and live in Hell. It must have originally been written about someone working outdoors in west Texas during the summer. Understand. I have lived in Texas all my life, so it is really not a question of not being use to the heat. I am use to it, in fact, I think I am well done at this point.

9. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

8.My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

7.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6.My mother taught...

Fun with Flatulence

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Mon, 07 May 2007 12:41:51 GMT

I wonder why it is we are so preoccupied by flatulence in this country. Every television show, radio program, stand up comedian, and guy at the water cooler includes humor about what medical people call flatus. I suppose it is one of those things that we all have in common, we all pass gas. There are many unique styles, but we all do it.

Our method may be a good predictor of our basic personality style. We have the subtle mysterious person, often a very sophisticated female, who...

English and other Abominations

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 09:34:38 GMT

Life on the Lakefront

It would not surprise most people who have read my columns to know that my high school English teacher described my writing as, an abomination. At the time, I took it as a compliment mostly because I thought the abominable snowman was pretty cool (pun intended) so that must mean that my writing was also. It was years later that I learned that she had not meant it as a positive comment and by then it was too late.

The biggest problem was I had no...

The Burglar

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 21:13:49 GMT

Settling into a new house can always be a bit unnerving, and after our move to our first house in countrified surroundings, my wife and I were a bit uncomfortable. The surroundings were so much quieter than our previous city homes that each noise that was heard seemed amplified a dozen times. In the unfamiliar setting, a crackling sound in the yard was presumed to be burglars sneaking in toward the house. Obviously, seeking to make off with my prized possessions, my potato chips and the...

An Angry Boompa's Weekend Reflections

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 11:04:28 GMT

Carter's Corner
I have always been struck by communities with odd names, and have speculated as to how many communities came up with their names. Of course, the reasons, that I have come up with are not necessarily true but in the absence of truth I have always been willing to pursue a wild goose, which by the way is the name of a town in western Canada.

Now many towns are named after cities in Europe or elsewhere, where early settlers may have originated, hence New York, New...

Barbers and Beagles

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 12:01:31 GMT

I went to the barber today for a hair cut. I suppose that it is obvious that you go to a barber for a haircut, no one goes to one to order pork chops or to have their computer repaired, it is just that there are not many real barbers anymore. Today most places have hair stylists not barbers. Barbers are becoming extinct, at some point people wont remember the striped barber poles symbolizing the bloodletting which was once one of the barbers prime functions. Most barbers no longer do...

You've had a Baaad day - DOn't go to Sheep

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 14:27:18 GMT

Scientists have created the world's first human-sheep chimera - which has the body of a sheep and half-human organs.

The sheep have 15 per cent human cells and 85 per cent animal cells - and their evolution brings the prospect of animal organs being transplanted into humans one step closer.

Professor Esmail Zanjani, of the University of Nevada, has spent seven years and £5million perfecting the technique, which involves injecting adult human cells into a sheep's fetus....

Sand and Home Repair, Another stupid story

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 15:45:18 GMT

Growing up in a small west Texas town is a unique experience that people that grow up elsewhere may never fully grasp. Dust storms were frequent this time of year, in fact just about every day you would have someones top soil blow by. I am reminded of the story of the farmer who sped into the gas station on his tractor, and when asked what the big hurry was, he responded, Im going to plow that north 40 if I have to chase it to Dallas. I am telling this story because I noticed some...

You might be a weenie if...

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 10:20:12 GMT

There are many people who seem to go out of their way to make life difficult for everyone else. These people, it seems have signed up on more than one occasion for aggravation 101, and more frequently than not have sought employment in government agencies, banks, and customer service departments at large department stores. Psychologists have developed a term which is used to identify these people, they are called weenies. Now it should be pointed out that a weenie, is an individual who is...

My home improvement project

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 22:27:52 GMT

Life on the Lakefront

Living on the lakefront, or anywhere else for that matter is a challenge, especially if you are kinesthetically challenged or in less politically correct terms a klutz. Unfortunately, such is my lot in life. If I take a swing at a nail with a hammer, odds are very good the only nail Ill hit is the one attached to my thumb. A crack in the sidewalk, a curb on a street corner, or simply a flight of stairs is like an open invitation to fall. Fortunately, I am...

Another of Techsan's Stupid Stories

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 11:20:20 GMT

It has always puzzled me how many families have a stories past down from generations of lost royalty or squandered wealth. You know the stories, Our great-great-grandfather had a hundred billion dollars but he got mad at his children over an incident when he was served thin spaghetti
instead of linguini, and he left all his money in a shoe box down at the Wal-Mart. It does not matter that the stories often make no logical sense, the fact that there were no Wal-Marts in 1749 or that...

It's a Guy Thing

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 22:55:05 GMT

To women guy things remain one of life's great mysteries. As spring and summer roll around they become more plentiful, at least more observable. This is because warm weather brings with it many primal urges. These urges have to do with the basic inherent need to do guy things. If this sounds sexist, I suppose that is because it is, but there remain some bastions of utter guyness. These include activities such as beating on things with hammers, spitting, sweating, and swearing at road...

Hamsters, Rats, and Chihuahuas, or Rodents R Us

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 22:50:34 GMT

The one thing that never changes about kids, normal kids, is that they like animals. And, if it was up to them they would have virtually every known species as a pet. Meaning, of course, that mom and dad would have to clean up a whole bunch of cages. This is the irony of pets, the kids want them and mom and dad clean up after them even though it was the kids who begged for them saying we will take care of them. Right, and then the elves will come and make shoes for everyone.

My...

Shamans and Psychologists

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 21:20:46 GMT

For hundreds of thousands of years, psychologists, philosophers, scholars, and witchdoctors have struggled attempting to understand human behavior, with little success. Very little has actually changed through the centuries, early man took his problems to the tribal shaman or witchdoctor, though the latter term is no longer considered politically correct. You might think of the shaman as magically challenged I suppose, but most of them acted pretty much the same thing as modern...

The Thief - Another of my spam stories

feeds@yuku.com (1techsan) — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 10:31:39 GMT

I hate to admit it but there is a thief living in my house. I have not identified him or her yet but I know the thief is living there. This thief steals food. Right from my table, right from my plate, he or she pilfers seemingly at will then vanishes without a trace. The missing food constitutes a mystery that would confound even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who of course wrote some of the great mysteries of our time.

My suspects are many, but evidence is lacking but I will present you...